


Push/Pull

by Starralyse



Category: Days of Our Lives
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Soap Opera, relationship drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-18
Updated: 2015-04-17
Packaged: 2018-03-13 14:43:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3385559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starralyse/pseuds/Starralyse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brian believes that relationships, by their nature, are designed to give each party the maximum opportunity to see the other person in a bad light. That's why he doesn't do relationships. Then one night, he picks up Sonny at The Spot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warning for smut. 
> 
> If you only like Sonny with Will you probably won't want to read this. This is mostly a two character story, with appearances by other characters, but, Will is actually showing up more than I initially thought he would.
> 
> Brian was a character who last appeared in 2012, majorly crushing on Sonny. The story follows some of the canon for Sonny's character to a certain point, but when it comes to Brian it assumes they met much earlier than on the show, and before Brian met Will.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian meets Sonny at The Spot.

_**Prologue** _

 

Brian is cruising _The Spot_. Neil claims to be there as his wingman, but Brian knows that Neil will be off like a shot if someone catches his eye.

 

Brian sees a pretty boy in a skintight t-shirt peacocking for the crowd. The guy sees Brian checking him out, gives him the once over, and stares at him through his lashes. He thinks he can have Brian with _a_ _look_.

 

He's probably right.

 

Brian goes up to the pretty boy. The boy's friends melt into the crowd as Brian starts talking to him, but it's strangely hard work to be charming when the person you're talking to says nothing in return but the occasional terse ' _cool_ ', ' _yeah_ ' or ' _hey, man_ '. Still, the pretty boy is doing lovely things with his mouth and the end of a beer bottle, so Brian keeps at it, even though, at twenty-four, he's beginning to wonder whether he's already become too old to know how to talk to someone under twenty.

 

Then he sees someone standing near the bar, staring at him.

 

Brian notices two things: _one_ , he has a lovely face, and _two_ , he is wearing one of the ugliest shirts that Brian has ever seen. But Brian has been in Salem long enough to realise that ugly shirts are _de rigueur_ , and the man checking him out is definitely worth another look (without the shirt, preferably).

 

The stranger is startled when he realises that Brian is staring back at him. Brian tilts his head questioningly, and turns around just enough to let the man see him from head to toe. 

 

 _Take a good look,_ thinks Brian. 

 

The other man shrugs, and Brian thinks, _Really? Is that the way you want to play it?_

 

He smiles.

 

"Excuse me," he says to the Beer Bottle Boy. "I think I just saw a friend of mine. Rain check?" He smiles his most dazzling smile and the pretty boy lets him go easily.

 

He feels lighter already, like he has made a lucky escape.

 

* * *

 

**Chapter One**

 

Sonny's friends have brought him to The Spot to take his mind off the horrifying collapse of his start-up business. 

 

Matteo is plying him with fruity cocktails that are deceptively stronger than they look. Sonny has seen more than one person give them odd looks because nobody under fifty orders cocktails anymore, but Matteo has never cared about that, any more than he cares about the latest fad for micro-brewed beer. Sonny is feeling buzzed, hanging out with his friends and drinking his _Mojito_. When the drinks are finished, he volunteers to make the run to the bar, threading past the bodies on the dance floor to place an order.

 

He sees a lithe fair-headed guy standing across from him, scanning the crowd, and for one moment Sonny thinks that it's Will. _Please look at me_ , he thinks, but the young man's gaze travels past Sonny, to land on a tall handsome jock-type who could be a catalogue model. As they talk, the Will look-a-like seems to hang off the other man's every word. 

 

And Sonny thinks that it is typical of his love life so far that not even Will's _proxy_ is interested in him.

 

The man talking to him looks like a combination of every footballer and film star Sonny ever had a crush on in high school. The type that Sonny used to break his heart over, in the days before he came to Salem, before he met Will (who may not even _be_ gay, he can't know for sure).

 

Sonny has been staring at him for some time, before he realises that the could-be-catalogue-model is staring back. The man tilts his head as if to say, _Do you like what you see?_

 

Sonny _does_ , but he thinks that there is such a thing as being _too confident_ , and shrugs back at him.

 

The other man smiles back at him amused, all pearly white teeth and crinkling bright eyes, and turns back to his companion.

 

Dismissed, Sonny rapidly collects and pays for his drinks, suddenly anxious to get back to his friends.

 

* * *

 

Less than a minute after Brian has made his excuses, he sees Neil make a move on Beer Bottle Boy. Neil is standing a little too close, but Beer Bottle Boy isn't pulling away - at least not _yet_ \- so that's a good sign.

 

Neil likes them fresh faced and wholesome; American-as-apple-pie college boys. Brian suspects that he's ultimately looking for a boyfriend. Brian is not. Brian likes men who are comfortable with their bodies, who know who they are, and who enjoy sex. 

 

Because Brian _loves_ sex.

 

It's the ugly shirt, rather than the man, that Brian recognises first.

 

His mysterious stranger is standing with a group of older gays, half in shadow. He looks like he could have modelled for an old Italian master; his classical face is stark against the dark swoop of his hair and his large dark eyes. He has a lovely straight nose and wide lips that curl up at each end like a cupid's bow.  
  
He's not the modern ideal, and he's not quite as buff as some of the other regulars at The Spot, but what he is, is nothing short of _luscious_.

 

When he sees Brian approaching, Brian sees surprise and recognition in his face.

 

Brian smiles at him, showing him all his teeth. His stranger blinks twice at that, and flicks at his lower lip with his tongue.

 

Brian stares at that lovely mouth, and he thinks, _with a mouth like that, I bet he could suck cock like a demon._

 

He introduces himself.

 

* * *

 

Sonny is buoyed by Brian's attention and a few rounds of Matteo's cocktails. Kareem whispers his congratulations at landing Brian, and as far as his friends are concerned, their duties are done for the night.

 

Sonny can feel Brian's hands around his waist and his hot breath in his ear, as Brian pulls Sonny away from his friends for another 'dance'. Sonny uses the quotation marks in his mind, because it is less a dance than a slow seduction, and after a while he realises they are not even pretending to match the rhythm of the music anymore.

 

Brian surrounds him with his warm body, his scent, and his exploring hands. He is everywhere at once, touching and rubbing against him. Sonny thinks that he could think again, if it weren't for those hands touching him, and those lips stealing the oxygen from his lungs.

 

There's a reason why he shouldn't being doing this, but it feels _so_ good.

 

He steps back, shaken, and Brian follows in his footsteps.

 

"Can't, here," says Sonny, breathless, trying to hold him back.

 

Brian stares at him intently. "My place?"

 

Sonny nods.

 

The taxi ride back to Brian's apartment is excruciating.

 

Sonny is staring blankly out the window, trying not to capture the cab driver's attention, whilst Brian is lightly trailing his hand up and down Sonny's thigh, whispering hotly in his ear, telling him all of the things that he is going to be doing to him when they get back to the apartment.

 

* * *

 

Brian flips Sonny onto the bed and straddles him, crawling over Sonny's body as Sonny's hands roam and slide over his chest and back, trying to pull him closer. Brian would love nothing better than to be pulled down against Sonny, but he reaches towards the headboard instead, pulling out a condom from beneath the pillows. Sonny arches against him and attempts to wrap his legs around his waist.

 

He breaks open the condom packet with his teeth and starts to put it on. Before long, Sonny takes over, using both hands to roll it on. Brian almost comes right then at the friction of Sonny's hot hands pushing and pulling at him. He grabs Sonny's wrists and drags them over his head. "Not yet."

 

Sonny squirms beneath him. Brian groans and takes a little time to get himself under control again.

 

He licks kisses over Sonny's chest and grazes his teeth over Sonny's nipples, pleased when Sonny shivers and arches beneath him. He tells Sonny how _good_ he is, how _special_ he is, stroking Sonny's chest and thighs, squeezing his ass, and pulling his legs apart. He opens Sonny up, twisting his fingers inside Sonny and dragging them across his prostate. He hits a sweet spot and Sonny bucks up, his lovely erection bobbing and waving in front Brian's face.

 

As quickly as that, playtime is over, and Brian hooks Sonny's legs over his shoulders and sinks his cock into Sonny. Brian eases himself in and out of Sonny until they are both rocking together, creating a rhythm that is punctuated by the sound of slapping skin, creaking bed joints, and their breathy groans.

 

Brian becomes lost in the moment. He slides into Sonny faster, harder, deeper. Sonny's hands clutch at the mattress, trying to find a hold, as his body slides up and down the sheets with each slide of Brian's cock.

 

It's _perfect_.

  
  
In this moment, Brian feels that _this_ is what he was made for. He could do this _forever_.

 

Sonny arches wildly and calls out.

 

Brian comes apart, shouting as he comes, his body shuddering with the force of his release. He collapses, bonelessly weak, on top of Sonny, who is panting beneath him. There is a post-sex blur of dis-entangling body parts, as Brian flops side by side with Sonny. His condom starts to feel sticky and he peels it off, tying it into a knot. He shivers unpleasantly at the sensation of cool air against his cock.

 

Sonny is too close to the edge of the bed, and Brian drags him back into the centre. Sonny murmurs something unintelligible but soon settles down, rolling over onto his stomach. Brian settles next to him.

 

He looks over at Sonny's prone body and can't resist one last possessive squeeze of Sonny's behind. Sonny makes a small noise of protest. Brian laughs and plants a kiss on the smooth round curve of his bottom.  

 

* * *

 

Sonny awakens during the night, practically hanging off the edge of the bed. It's dark and he's tired, and Brian is a bed hog who takes up the _entire_ width of the bed.

 

He grabs the discarded bed sheet and pulls it around himself, retreating to the bathroom to clean himself up.

 

Returning to the bedroom, he observes Brian's naked sprawl. He contemplates waking Brian up, but doesn't think he's up for another round of _that_ just yet.

 

 _Don't poke the beast!_ Sonny laughs at that under his breath, but stops when he realises that he could just as easily be referring to himself as Brian.

 

He goes into the other room and settles himself on the sofa, wrapped in his sheet. In a few hours he will put on his street clothes and go back home, and his real life will start over again.

 

He lays his head back against the sofa cushions and closes his eyes.

 

* * *

 

Brian stands under the shower letting the hot jets of water clear the fog from his brain. Wearing nothing more than a towel, he walks softly into the lounge room where he finds Sonny still asleep on his sofa, wearing only a sheet.

 

He quietly and methodically starts going through his kitchen, pulling out fruit, bread, a jar of coffee and two mugs. By the time he has put it all together on a tray, the jug of hot water has started to boil. He sees Sonny stir. He hangs his towel over the back of a stool.

 

"I thought you might like something to eat," he says, bringing the tray over.

 

"Thank you." Sonny wrestles his arms out of the sheet and sits up as Brian brings him the tray. Brian watches him. It takes Sonny less than a moment to realise that behind the tray, Brian is completely naked, and hard. He blinks, then looks away, his tongue flicking at his lower lip.

 

Brian thinks, _You can't look at me naked after everything we did last night? Really?_

 

If Brian was the sensitive kind, he supposes he would go back to the bedroom and put on a robe. Instead, he chooses to sit next to Sonny, willing him to look at him. But Sonny is concentrating on the fruit, and Brian watches him peel the flesh off his orange wedge with his perfect white teeth. 

 

The juice squirts and dribbles down Sonny's fingers and chin. Sonny starts to wipe it away, but Brian very deliberately takes Sonny's wrist and sucks the juice from it, observing Sonny's reaction. Sonny stares back at him blankly.

 

"You've got some on your chin as well," says Brian. He leans into Sonny and trails his fingers across Sonny's jaw line, softly kissing the trail of juice on his chin and along his neck. Sonny's head tilts to expose his throat. Brian drops kisses alongside his jaw and the column of his throat, sucking at a small sensitive patch of skin there and grazing it with his teeth.

 

Sonny's breathing becomes shallower and his eyes flutter shut.

 

Sonny," whispers Brian into his ear, and he sees Sonny shiver at the sound.

 

Brian grabs handfuls of Sonny's sheet and drags him into his lap. He makes quick work of Sonny's bed sheet, parting it and baring Sonny to his exploring hands. Sonny is rubbing up against him now, like he is trying to crawl inside Brian's skin. Everywhere they touch is electric, and Brian's cock vibrates with each of Sonny's murmured groans.

 

He rolls Sonny underneath him, but the bed sheet is in the way again, wrapping itself around Sonny's hips. Brian yanks it down roughly, dragging Sonny down with it, until he pulls it free. Then he is straddling Sonny and dipping his hand between them to rub his curled palm along Sonny's penis dragging it up and down, to the accompaniment of Sonny's breathy moans and helpless thrashing, driving Brian wild.

 

This time they don't make it as far as the bedroom.

 

* * *

 

"Is it that time already?"

 

Sonny nods not quite meeting his eyes. "So um-"

 

"One for the road?" Brian says and surprises Sonny into laughter.

 

"I mean a kiss," he says.

 

Sonny nods and Brian cups Sonny's jaw in his hands and rubs his thumb across his cheek as he moves in for a kiss. Sonny is first to break eye contact, as his ridiculously long lashes come down and shutter his eyes. He melts naturally into the kiss as Brian deepens it. Like all kisses with Sonny, this one is no less spectacular than the others. But Brian personally rates it in the top five, because when Sonny finally leaves, it is a half hour later, and he is running around trying to find his missing shoe and tucking his shirt into his pants, as Brian smugly observes him from the bed.

 

Whilst Sonny is occupied with looking for his lost shoe, Brian takes a few creative pictures of himself with Sonny's phone. He quickly slips the phone back to the foot of the bed where Sonny left it, before Sonny notices him with it.

 

"Are you sure that you want to go?" Brian says from the bed.

 

He thinks Sonny looks gratifyingly torn when he leaves.

 

_**Epilogue** _

 

It is three months later.

 

Brian is at The Spot again.

 

It is not a successful night for him; he has seen most of the action here before and he's a little bored. Usually on nights like this, if he can't find someone who interests him, he'll pass the time by drinking and joking with Neil, but Neil has spent most of the evening hanging off a boy that has 'virgin' written all over him (sex with women doesn't count), under the mistaken belief that he is going to score.

 

Will is cute, Brian will admit, and a little drunk. Young. Fresh. Funny. Neil is hanging around him jealously, but if that is for Brian's benefit, he needn't have bothered. Brian doesn't do virgins. Actually, with his medical exams taking up so much of his time, he hasn't done much of anything or anyone lately.

 

On the dance floor, the music is catchy and the pulsing lights flicker on Will's fair head. For a moment, Brian is reminded of another night at The Spot, with a blonde and a beer bottle. _The one that (thankfully) got away._

 

That was the night he met Sonny.

 

He wants to see Sonny again. He's left his number on Sonny's phone, but if something is going to start up between them, Brian knows that it has to be Sonny who makes the next move.

 

If Sonny calls, then it means he is willing to see Brian again on Brian's terms. 

 

If Brian calls him first, then he may as well say goodbye to any hope of sexual autonomy. There is no way that Sonny won't invite him back to his place, or try to integrate him with his friends, or want to do those things that boyfriends naturally do; trapping him gently and surely with the hundreds of small intimate invisible threads that make up a relationship.

 

Sonny is probably dating; he may even have a boyfriend by now. Brian is pretty sure that is why Sonny hasn't called.

 

He doesn't think that Sonny hasn't called because he didn't like the sex.

 

Brian believes that relationships, by their very nature, are designed to give each party the maximum opportunity to see the other person in a bad light. His have never turned out well.

 

He's not about to put himself through that again.

 

But Sonny may never call him back.

 

Brian's phone, with Sonny's number on it, sits like a lead weight in his pocket.

 

* * *

 

Sonny finds Brian's phone number in the contact list on his cell. He's confused at first, because he doesn't remember making the entry, and it takes him a couple of seconds to identify the profile pic and recognise that he is looking at Brian's …well, _Brian_. He is tempted to send him a SMS saying that he is thinking about using the photo for his new screensaver.

 

He doesn't.

 

He is starting up a new café in the centre of town, and even though it takes up most of his time, that's all right; it is not as if there is anything else, or anyone else, making demands on his time.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny trysts with Brian again. Plus soapy drama with Will. Sonny POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Flashback to homophobic comments.

 Six months later, Sonny calls Brian. He wonders if Brian will remember him.

He needn't have worried. Brian tells him he is unforgettable.

 

 

_**Friday** _

 

It's a Friday night, and Sonny hesitates as he stands at the door of Brian's apartment. He does a final check of himself, straightening his olive green shirt and smoothing down his hair. He wishes he had a mirror, to look at his face, but he knows the bruise on his mouth has faded and the cut on his lip is so faint it's almost invisible.

 

_(You turned my best friend into a fairy. You make me want to puke.)_

 

He knocks on the door and Brian answers wearing only a towel. His skin is glistening with water droplets and his hair is curling wet. He looks as good as Sonny remembers. Sonny feels his mouth go dry.

 

"Make yourself at home," Brian says, ushering him in and returning to the bathroom.

 

Sonny has brought a bottle of wine and some good quality coffee. (He remembers that Brian only had instant). He puts them on the kitchen counter. Brian returns. He is no longer dripping wet, but he is still wearing only a towel.

 

"Hi," Brian says, staring at him intently. His gaze travels to Sonny's lips.

 

"Hi." Sonny stares back.

 

Brian backs him up against the wall and kisses him senseless. When Brian leans away from him he is smiling. Confident. Sonny thinks that Brian is used to getting whatever he wants.

 

He's still a little surprised that it's him.

 

Brian says, "That is a terrible shirt. Take it off."

 

 _(What is wrong with you? You thought I was coming on to you?_ You thought that I _wanted_ you to kiss me?).

 

Sonny doesn't move and Brian's hand cups Sonny's cheek. It's cold.

 

"Sonny," Brian says softly, closing in on Sonny and watching for his reaction. He kisses Sonny again, more gently this time, and pulls him flush against his body. His hands sneak under Sonny's shirt; stroking, questing. Sonny's thoughts start to dissolve in a haze of lust. Brian is pressing against him, praising him: _You are amazing Sonny, You are special, Let me have you; it will feel so good_. And it _does_. Brian's fingers stroke over the waistband of his jeans, tugging at the clasp of his belt.

 

Sonny thinks that someone as confident, successful and charismatic as Brian can pick and choose from whomever he wants, but for tonight at least, he wants Sonny. Sonny's hands pull at Brian's towel and it falls to the ground.

 

_**Saturday** _

 

Sonny wakes up to find himself tangled up with Brian, laying half on top of him with their legs entwined, and Brian's arm loosely curled around his waist. Brian seems to be asleep; Sonny can hear his loud steady breathing, but there is something poking into Sonny's thigh, and it doesn't belong to him.

 

He tries to slide off Brian, but Brian just snorts and turns with him, pressing their erections together and curling his palms around Sonny's butt like he is hugging his favourite teddy bear. Sonny stops moving. Brian's breathing pattern turns deep and loud again.

 

_Seriously?_

 

He wonders if he should try to move, but doesn't think he can without rubbing their cocks together and waking Brian. If he stays as he is, Brian is going to awaken soon anyway by a fully hard penis poking his pelvis.

 

It's like a catch-22, but with penises. He's screwed if he moves, and he's screwed if he doesn't. Sonny looks down between them. Not that that's necessarily a bad thing. 

 

Brian says, "I have heard of being awoken by a cock at the crack of dawn, but I didn't picture it happening quite this way." Brian rolls them until Sonny is laying underneath him on his back. "I like it."

 

Brian sits up between Sonny's thighs, staring at Sonny laying spread out for him on the bed, with his legs open and cock fully erect.

 

"Well, _hello_ ," says Brian. He's talking to Sonny's penis now, so Sonny doesn't bother to answer.

 

Sonny looks away.

 

"Sonny?" says Brian.

 

Brian gently takes a hold of Sonny's cock. He starts rubbing his hand up and down the length of it, making him shiver.

 

Brian says, "Sonny, do you like that?"

 

 _Yes._ Sonny is almost beside himself with the feel of Brian's hand stroking him. He is practically _purring_ when Brian stops suddenly.

 

"So," says Brian. "I was wondering what your plans were for this weekend?"

 

"What?" says Sonny.

 

"Your _plans_ ," says Brian. "Did you want to stay the weekend?"

 

Brian wraps his mouth around the end of Sonny's cock. He does this thing with his tongue that makes Sonny cry out, and clutch at the mattress with both hands. Brian takes him in deeper.

 

"Oh God," says Sonny, "Yes, _Yes_ , _Yes_."

 

* * *

 

An hour later, Sonny is trying to talk himself out of his weekend at Brian's. It's not that he really wants to _leave,_ it's just that he feels that he shouldn't _stay_. There are reasons why he shouldn't stay, he is sure of it. Reasons to do with the real world and _stuff_ …

 

"I don't have my toothbrush," says Sonny, "or any of my things here. You know, clothes, changes of underwear. And I have shifts at my café."

 

He is lying next to Brian on the bed.

 

Brian says, "I have a spare toothbrush, and clothes you can borrow. You can use my washer and dryer to clean the clothes you came in." He rolls over and places his hand on Sonny's chest. "You said your café. Does that mean you're the owner? Congratulations."

 

"Thank you," says Sonny.

 

"I suppose that means you're also the one who's in charge of making up the rosters?"

 

Sonny sighs. "Yes."

 

"So, should I take that as a 'yes' you are staying?" asks Brian, kissing his shoulder. "You can always change your mind later."

 

Sonny calls Julia on his phone and asks apologetically if she would be interested in covering him for one or more of his shifts this weekend. She sounds so enthusiastic over the phone, he offers her all of them.

 

"That sounds like it went well," says Brian.

 

"She's saving up for a holiday," says Sonny.

 

"Poor girl needs a vacation," says Brian. "Let her be."

 

Brian pats the bed next to him invitingly.

 

Sonny climbs under the covers with him. Brian pounces on him gleefully, and Sonny can't stop laughing.

 

_**Sunday** _

 

Brian finally gets around to giving Sonny a tour of his apartment.

 

It is fortunate that there are only a couple of rooms in it that Sonny has not seen, as Brian's idea of a special tour leaves Sonny sweaty and shaking with lust, and evolves/devolves into energetic floor/wall sex.

 

When Sonny refuses to get on top of the washing machine whilst his laundry is spinning in it, Brian hoists him over his shoulder and carries him back to the bedroom.

 

Sonny reminds him that he has already seen _this room_ before.

 

* * *

 

Sonny thinks he should embarrassed, lying naked and exposed to Brian's gaze, with Brian kneeling upright between his slackly open legs. But he is too tired today to even feel awkward about it, and he likes the feel of cool air against his hot skin.

 

His self-conscious side is only distantly aware of the spectacle he is making, whilst the part of his brain that processes touch and sight observes that Brian has stopped looking now, and has started to touch (and taste); licking rough tongue-kisses up his body.

 

Sonny throws his arm over his eyes to block out the late afternoon light slanting through the window. Everything is too much right now, too raw. The sunlight is too bright. He can feel the soft rasp of Brian's lips on his skin, and his stomach clenches, but he doesn't want to deal with the 'all' of Brian right now, so he does nothing.

 

Brian lazily traces kisses down Sonny's body. There is a pattern and repetition to Brian's attentions and Sonny allows himself to relax under them. After a while it becomes pleasantly innocuous until Sonny tenses at the soft suction of Brian's mouth and the rasp of Brian's chin stubble, against the thin skin near his pelvic bone.

 

Brian abandons the spot and crawls up Sonny's body instead, capturing his mouth in a languid kiss. Sonny feels himself turning liquid.

 

Sonny shivers when he feels Brian draw away from him, missing his body heat already. He knows that Brian is only interested in lazily playing him for now, but he is too tired to call him back, and as it turns out, it isn't necessary. Brian has only moved away to tease him in another spot; tracing lazy circles on Sonny's inner thighs with his fingers, trying to disperse Sonny's sleepily detached haze.

 

Sonny rucks up his knees and presses them together.

 

Sonny is aware that time is passing, and that he is going to have to leave Brian's apartment soon and return to his real life. That version of Sonny seems strangely removed from the one he is now, and he wonders what that Sonny would think of this creature with the hyper-sensitive body ( _which is one gigantic pleasure zone_ ), and his mindlessly euphoric bubble brain. _That_ Sonny worries about things so much. He wonders whether anyone will notice that he's changed when he goes back to his real life. He feels his peaceful bubble deflate a little.

 

"Ssh," says Brian.

 

He starts kissing Sonny, long drugging kisses that send warmth flooding through him where their lips touch, and Sonny feels himself opening up; drawing in heat through their shared contact. And then it's too hot, and he feels that detached bubble of euphoria flitting away. Sonny struggles for a minute to capture it, breaking off the kiss; but Brian's lips just move on to sucking at his jaw and throat before recapturing his lips in an openly carnal kiss of heat and need. Sonny only has a moment to lament his lost detachment before he is dragged under by a massive rolling wave of desire.

 

* * *

  

This thing called Sonny, what's left of him, is curled against the couch. Brian feeds him, dresses him, and pampers him before sending him back into the world. Sonny thinks he must seem very different, and that everybody must see it, but the only person who notices any difference in him is the one person he really doesn't want to.

 

"Are you okay, Sonny?" says his mother. "You seem a little distracted today." She puts her hand up against his forehead as if she is trying to take his temperature.

 

Sonny smiles at her. "I'm fine, Mom."

  

* * *

 

_**Three Months later.** _

 

Sonny thinks that Will could be the one.

 

They are meeting tonight, after Will comes back from dealing with a family matter involving Will's great-grandmother. 

 

Will's father is giving Sonny flinty looks.

 

Will looks like he doesn't know what to do, standing on the threshold of Sonny's apartment, half-in and half-out, his clothes in tell-tale disarray. He is eyeing the door like it's a bolt-hole, but he is still there for Sonny, if Sonny needs him.

 

Sonny tells him to go and see his great-grandmother. Will escapes and the door clicks shut, leaving Sonny alone with Will's father.

 

They argue about Will. Lucas is acting as if Will is still a child and Sonny is a sexual predator.

 

He asks Lucas to leave.

 

It's not as if this is even the first time this has happened to Sonny. It is T all over again, but worse, because Lucas is not an immature college student, but a grown up man with an adult son, who has seen something of the world.

 

That evening, Will comes back, but something is wrong. Will is grabbing at him, pulling at his clothes, trying to get Sonny to have sex him with him, but Sonny _won't_ , not when Will is like _this_.

 

Will starts questioning Sonny about his sexual history; who he's slept with, how many, and where, and Sonny backs away. Will wants to know why he won't answer his questions.

 

_"Don't I have the right to know?" says Will._

 

It is on the tip of Sonny's tongue to say that there has been no-one else, not lately, but then images of Brian flash into Sonny's head. _Brian_ , flipping Sonny over his shoulder and throwing him back onto the bed. _Brian_ , naked and exultant, plunging his cock into Sonny again and again. 

 

But this thing with Brian is over, now that he has Will.

 

_Is it? You've never told Brian that._

 

… _And if it is over, why do you still have his number on your phone?_

 

Sonny doesn't know what is showing on his face, but Will is staring at him with something close to horrified realisation.

 

"Did you bring him here? Same as me?" says Will.

 

Sonny shakes his head. "I'm not seeing him-" He stops. "It's not a relationship," he says. "It was just-"

 

_Sex._

 

"- a few times. You and I, we weren't even together, then," says Sonny.

 

"My dad was right," says Will. 

 

 _No_. Sonny shakes his head.  _He wasn't._

 

Will stares at Sonny and says, "I defended you to him. I believed _you_."

 

"You believed me? Really, Will? You come in here, you try to make me have sex with you, and when I tell you to stop, you start hammering me with more questions about who I've been with and where," says Sonny. 

 

And it's like Lucas again, and T. But this time it's Will, suspicious of him and hating him just because he's had sex with other men before, as if that automatically makes him something shameful. 

 

Then, there's _Brian_.

 

And the irony is that if Will knew about Brian, Sonny wouldn't blame him for being suspicious. But Will didn't. He just suspected that Sonny sleeps around because that is what his father has told him gay men do. He doesn't distrust Sonny for anything he has done, not really.

 

And if it turns out that Sonny is not the exception that disproves Lucas' "rule", what does that mean for him and Will?

 

Because Sonny knows that he loves Will, but even knowing that, part of him still wants Brian; still has Brian's number stored in his phone. _  
_

And Will would never accept Sonny if he knew that.  _  
_

And because Sonny is tired, because he is guilty, because he is sick of being shamed by people who don't know him, and because he knows that he will never live up to Will's expectations, (and will never be good enough), Sonny snaps and tells him to get out.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Attributions: Use of original and paraphrased dialogue from Days of Our Lives episodes: 21 August 2012 (spoken by Will) and 22 & 28 August, 2012 (spoken by T). Also an episode after Lucas barges in on Will and Sonny, when Sonny first breaks up with Will (1 November, 2012).


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three seasons of Brian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes you have to go backwards to go forwards. Mild non-con: unwanted kiss (Brian/other). It is borderline when it comes to non-con, and has no repercussions, I just thought I'd warn for it, so you can make your own decision about it.

_**Summer** _

 

It is only a few months after he first meets Sonny, that Brian hears Sonny's name being spoken aloud by one of the guys on his crew team. They are talking about the University sports website being taken down.

 

“I didn't know he had anything to do with that website,” says Neil.

 

Brian says, “Sonny Kiriakis?”

 

“Yeah," says Jason. "Do you know him?”

 

Brian says simply, “I've seen him around”.

 

“Too bad for you guys he's taken,” says Jason. “You could have had a shot there.”

 

He flicks his computer around so Brian can see a photo posted on the university's social networking site. It's Sonny at the park, smiling his beautiful smile, standing next to a tall dark-haired guy with a surfer's tan, his arm around Sonny's shoulders, kissing Sonny's cheek and mugging for the camera.

 

\----

 

It's the summer break and Brian has been invited to a party at one of the frat houses on campus.

 

It's lit up like a welcoming beacon, as people come and go through the open front door. Inside, the light makes his eyes squint, and the techno thrum of the music is so loud his teeth feel like they're on 'vibrate'.

 

“Glad you made it, man,” yells Neil, pushing his way towards him. They butt shoulders in greeting.

 

A guy with a bottle in his hand latches on to Neil, placing his arm awkwardly around Neil's shoulders. He stares blearily at Brian for a minute, then turns away and says something in Neil's ear.

 

Neil points him up the stairs and the blonde stumbles away.

 

“Friend of yours?” says Brian and Neil mimes “can't hear you”, then points to the stairs where his new friend is slumped over the top stoop.

 

Brian understands and leaves him to it.

 

A crowd of late arrivals flood into the hallway, and Brian slips away, through the kitchen and out into the yard, where someone has set up deckchairs on the grass, and a string of white fairy lights around a cooler filled with cold beer. There's a small crowd of people lounging about: drinking, making out, _passed out_.

 

Someone he's never met before leans into the cooler and hands him a beer.

 

“Hey,” he says. “I'm Martin.”

 

Five beers later, Martin has his tongue down Brian's throat, and his hand in his pants.

 

Brian is putting up with it, in the hope it will get better soon, but the guy's breath smells like hamburgers and onions, and now the hands down his pants are crushing his balls. Brian knows he is not nearly drunk enough to want to see where _this_ goes.

 

“Hey,” he says, pushing Martin away. Martin tries to stick his tongue in Brian's face and Brian says, “Put it away, man.”

 

“Come on,” says Martin, grabbing for him clumsily, but Brian shoves him, and his deckchair topples sideways. Martin lands on his ass.

 

“Fuck this,” says Brian, leaving.

 

\----

 

Summer ends with a murder and a bang.

 

Neil's new flame from _The Spot_ is arrested for the murder of the local criminal underworld Kingpin, Stefano Dimera.

 

Brian says, “He was probably Dimera's _bit on the side_.”

 

"Don't be an asshole," says Neil. "Will's not like that. Besides, that Dimera dude is _ancient_."

 

When Neil learns that the murder took place on the same night that he was with Will at _The Spot_ , he charges down to the police station to rescue him. He is quiet when he gets back. Brian can hardly get anything out of him. 

 

Brian would like to ask Will how he could think that it's _preferable_ to have people think that he's a _murderer_ rather than a _gay man_.  But he doesn't, because Neil has mentioned that Will is one of Sonny's friends.

 

(A _nd Brian marvels at the thought that somehow, after all this time, he still thinks that Sonny might want to hook up again)._

\---

 

The collapse of the underground gas tunnel signals an end to Summer revelry.

 

Brian volunteers at the hospital. He's not qualified as a doctor yet, so he can't treat patients himself. A female doctor calls him over to help her roll a patient over on his side without jogging his damaged arm. Brian holds the arm still as the doctor cleans and bandages the wound.

 

There's one last college bash of the season, but it turns into a wake for Summer, as the subdued crowd sits quietly on the beach drinking, watching the last remnants of the bonfire blaze, then burn out.

 

By the end of the evening, Brian smells of smoke and ashes. He removes his clothes to shower, and only then notices that Sonny has left a message on the phone in his pants' pocket.

 

_“Hi, this is Sonny,” he says. “I don't know if you remember me, but we met late last year at The Spot. I was wondering whether you wanted to get together again sometime...”_

 

Brian calls him back on the instant.

 

Summer ends with a _bang_.

 

**_Fall_ **

 

Brian decides to visit Sonny at his café. He doesn't want to let another six months go by without touching Sonny again. 

 

The girl behind the counter says that Sonny is not working today.

 

The tall coffee barista says, “Maybe I can help? I'm Sonny's partner”, and when Brian turns around it's the same guy from the university website photo; the one who had his arms around Sonny's shoulders and his face pressed into Sonny's cheek in a kiss.

 

It's weeks before Brian finds out that Chad is Sonny's _business_ _partner_ , but by then it's already too late. Sonny is seeing Will Horton now - the drunken blonde from Neil's summer fling.

 

**_Winter_ **

 

Brian spends more and more time working on his research paper and cramming for his finals. Neil says he hardly sees him anymore; Brian hasn't been back at The Spot since Summer.

 

He finds himself living a strangely monastic life of study and solitude. Gym in the morning, yoga in the evening, and study in between. He has started a purely organic diet of greens, fruits and whole grains, downing goji berries and raw almonds by the handful. He takes green tea during the day _(no coffee!)_ and has at least seven hours of sleep every night.

 

He feels like he's become a better, more well-rounded person because of it; clearheaded, grounded, calm.

 

He hasn't had sex in months.

 

Brian's phone beeps the arrival of a new text message: _Are you avail. tonight? Sonny._

 

Brian tosses his tofu and kale salad in the bin.

 

If he's going to make it through his night with Sonny, he's going to need _proteins_.

 

\----

 

When Brian opens the door that night, Sonny is standing outside it, wearing a dark grey form-fitting sweater and dark pants. Brian has never seen him look so well-dressed.

 

"Are you going to let me in?" says Sonny.

 

"You look - _nice_ ," says Brian. He watches as Sonny walks by - he wants to see what he looks like from the back. It's a good call. Sonny has a tidy little derrière and those pants are _magic_ on him. As he watches, Sonny steps into the centre of Brian's apartment, stripping off his sweater. He kicks off his shoes and heads for the bedroom.

 

Brian is still holding the front door open like an idiot.

 

He hurries across the apartment, stripping off clothes as he goes. Jumping on one foot and then the other to get his socks and shoes off. Dragging off his shirt, _damn the buttons_ , and leaving it tossed on the ground in a heap.

 

Through the doorway, he can see that Sonny is naked and sitting on the edge of the bed, unmoving. He seems a little too still.

 

Sonny turns his head and looks him over as he comes through the door. The thought floats through Brian's mind that he hasn't seen Sonny smile once since he's been in the apartment.

 

Brian says, "Is everything all right?"

 

"I couldn't find your condoms in the top drawer," says Sonny.

 

Brian goes to his cabinet on the other side and pulls one out whilst Sonny stretches out on the bed, watching him. Brian rolls the condom in his fingers as he looks back at Sonny.

 

_He's fucking beautiful._

 

Brian's a little unsure whether Sonny wants the condom, or if he wants Brian to put it on. Sonny pats the bed next to him, and Brian crawls in beside him.

 

Then it's _Sonny_ who rolls on top of him and takes the condom from his hand. Sonny who puts it on. Sonny who makes quick work of the buttons on his jeans and drags them down his thighs.

 

_(Seriously, did he just forget to take off his own pants? What is wrong with him?)_

 

"Sonny," he says softly, trailing his fingers along Sonny's jawline, which is tight with tension.

 

Sonny looks at him briefly, but won't hold his gaze.

 

"You'll like this," says Sonny.

 

And Sonny's mouth, lips, hands and tongue do things to Brian that he's only fantasised about.

 

\----

 

Sonny won't let him sleep.

 

He thinks that he's been awake for a while, but he's not sure how long. From one moment to the next, he is caught between the drag of sleeplessness pulling him under, and the rip of sexual desire _and Sonny_ , jolting him awake again.

 

This time he thinks it's been less than five minutes before he feels Sonny's warm naked body sliding up his back, and his lips tracing kisses along his neck. His brain is half-asleep and half-fried, but his body is reacting mindlessly to Sonny's touch, as his hands skim and press his flesh, dancing over his chest, sliding possessively down his body, towards his cock.

 

Sonny reaches down and pulls at Brian's balls with his hands, playing with them.

 

Brian groans.

 

"Do you like that?" says Sonny.

 

 _Fuck_.

 

Part of Brian's mind clings to sleep. It is the dull stodgy part that knows that he has to go to sleep or he'll be wrecked for work. But Sonny's attention has moved on and he's stroking Brian's cock in his hands, whispering soft words of encouragement in his ear.Brian's cock grows hard under Sonny's stroking hand and Sonny says, _"It's amazing Brian, I want to lick it up and down like a popsicle."_

 

And Brian thinks that Sonny could have the worst dirty talk on the planet, but the thought of having Sonny's mouth anywhere near his cock would still make his brain short-circuit and the blood rush to his penis. Sonny's stroking hand is overkill; Brian could come from the sound of Sonny's voice alone. That voice talks him through the application of a condom and lubricant _,_ and Brian's cock remains unfailingly rigid. 

 

Sonny rolls Brian on his back and Brian has never been this passive before, but something about this controlling version of Sonny seems to demand his quiet subjugation. Brian finds it all a little kinky, whilst he is still able to think at all. 

 

Sonny mounts himself on Brian's cock, squeezing and shifting until he's taken in as much of Brian as he can. Then he starts rocking, and Brian feels jolts of sensation cascading down his cock and through his entire body.

 

Brian fights his arousal for as long as he's able, so he can keep staring into Sonny's wild dark eyes, and watch Sonny's golden, sweat-drenched body, ride him into the night.

 

\----

 

In the morning Sonny is gone.

 

Brian searches his living room first but Sonny is not in the apartment and there is nothing to show that he was ever there.

 

Only afterwards, does Brian think that Sonny never kissed him on the lips. Never laughed at his eagerness. Never lay next to him after they were spent and boneless, as they stared into each other's eyes. Never insulted Brian's coffee.

 

Never let him hold him during the night.

 

Brian's mind is dull and sluggish the next day and he can't focus on his classes. Instead, his thoughts go round and round like a hamster wheel, thinking about Sonny leaving and not saying goodbye. 

 

Brian leaves him a message asking him to call back.

 

 ----

 

When Sonny doesn't answer his message after three days, Brian knows that Sonny is avoiding him. Maybe it's because Sonny treated him like a sex toy, fucked his brains out and then cut and ran during the night.

 

Brian thought it was sexy as hell, but Sonny might not feel that way.

 

Brian tries him again and the phone rings out.

 

Neil says quizzically, “Are you calling that guy again?”

 

Brian nods.

 

“The same guy, twice?” Neil says.

 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” says Brian.

 

“It's just weird,” says Neil. “For you, this is practically stalking.”

 

\---

 

Brian tells Neil that they're going to hit The Spot tonight.

 

Neil is surprised because Brian has his first exam on Monday, but Brian tells him he needs to let off some steam.

 

The last time they went, Neil brought Will; Brian suggests that he invite him along.

 

“Will Horton?” says Neil. “I haven't seen him in ages.”

 

“I thought you liked him,” says Brian. “I heard he was available again.”

 

Neil tells him he'll think about it.

 

Brian is surprised when Will actually shows up, and it feels as if there is a strange kind of synchronicity at work, bending the universe to his plans; as if he and Will were meant to be here at The Spot, in the same place at the same time, all along.

 

Will is quiet and subdued at first, but he livens up after a few drinks. He dances a few times with Neil, and a few times with other people. It is after he comes back from dancing with Neil the second time that Brian beckons them over to a table.

 

Brian hands him a drink and starts to ask him about his life. Will seems pleased and flattered by the attention. Neil is rapidly glancing between the two of them with a growing look of horror.

 

Brian rolls his eyes at him. _Really?_

 

Neil settles down at their table, confused.

 

Brian asks Will, “So what happened between you and your boyfriend? Why did you break up?”

 

And Will says, “I don't want to talk about it,” proving that a universe that bends to your will can sometimes bend the other way as well.

 

Brian says, “I don't blame you. Break-ups are the worst,” and tells the story of one of his exes who broke into his apartment and set his text books on fire.

 

“You only have yourself to blame for that one,” Neil says. “That's what you get when you meet and break up with your boyfriends based on your academic curriculum.”

 

Will laughs.

 

“You are so full of shit,” says Brian.

 

“But it's true!” Neil says, letting Will in on the secret. “He gets together with them during Spring break, and dumps them just before the exams start, like clockwork.”

 

Brian says, “I haven't dumped anyone. He's been seeing someone else.”

 

Neil looks surprised. “Who?” he asks.

 

Will, who has been studying his beer with a melancholy expression, says, in a low voice, “That's what happened to me."

 

Neil moves his attention to Will. 

 

"Sonny has been having sex with some other guy," Will says. "And it's like, if something goes wrong with us, any time something goes wrong with us, Sonny can just dial up this guy, his _fuck buddy_ , like he's ordering a pizza.”

 

Brian can read it on Neil's face, when he figures it out. When the penny drops, and the other shoe falls, and the lightbulb switches on with dazzling radiant illumination. Neil was there, after all, from the beginning.

 

He was Brian's _wing man._

 

And Will is getting maudlin over his beer, and now Neil is trying to persuade him to leave the bar, so he suggests they call it a night, and tries to take Will's arm.

 

"No," Will wrestles himself out of Neil's grip and says, “I want to dance again.” He gets up unsteadily and stumbles off onto the dance floor.

 

When they are alone, Neil says to Brian, “This is about _Sonny Kiriakis_? For God's sake, why bring Will here?”

 

Brian sneers, _“Why do you think?”_

 

Neil grabs Brian's arm, and leans in to say, “If you like Sonny, go buy him a bunch of flowers, or write him love poetry, or do whatever it is that gets him to like you, just don't do _this_. Don't let Will find out like _this_.”

 

Will plumps down on the seat next to them, out of breath. “That was awesome. You guys should have come dancing, it's great.”

 

“Maybe another time,” says Neil. "We've got to go. Right, Brian?”

 

Brian says, “I think I've had enough of tonight.”

 

When they've dropped Will home, Neil is about to leave, but he asks instead, "Are you okay?"

 

"I'm fine," dismisses Brian. 

 

Neil says, "Listen, man, it will work out. Just get done with your exams, first. Then you can figure out where things stand with -um- with everything."

 

Brian says, " _God Neil_ , you act as if I'm in _love_ or something."

 

And Neil says, "Fine, whatever.  But it's only two weeks until exams are over. Just... _let it go_. Two weeks are not going to make a difference."

  

_**Sonny** _

 

It's late at night, when Sonny sneaks out of Brian's apartment. He's tired and shaking, but it's not from the cold. The clinging grey sweater he wore to impress Brian feels too tight now, and he doesn't like the itch of it against his skin.

 

He's carrying his shoes and his socks in his hands. He didn't want to wake Brian up, whilst he fumbled with them, putting them on in the dark.

 

He's not quite sure what he's doing anymore. He thought that if he had sex with Brian, it would help him forget about the rest of his life. It usually does, more easily than it  should. Sonny even dressed for the part. That's why he wore these clothes; he thought Brian would want to fuck him if he wore them.

 

But Brian had said that he looked … _nice_ , and had wanted to flirt with him. Sonny didn't want him to flirt, or ask questions, or be nice, he wanted him for his cock. He wanted Brian in him, fucking his brains out so he couldn't use them to think any more. But Brian had just looked concerned, and asked him if he was _all right._ And he'd stood there with the condom snagged between his fingers - undecided about whether he wanted to have sex with Sonny or not - whilst Sonny lay naked and spread out for him on the bed. 

 

And Sonny had had to wrestle back the situation and take the lead.

 

Sonny has a new perspective on Will, now that he has done the same thing to Brian that Will tried to do to him earlier that night.

 

And it makes him feel like crying, because he knows that as well as ruining whatever he had with Will tonight, he's also just ruined his friendship with Brian, without ever even realising that that is what it _was_.

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

Sonny ignored the first three of Brian's text messages asking how he was. After a week, Sonny finally wrote back, _“I'm fine. How are you?”_  

 

Brian hasn't replied. 

 

Maybe he's lost interest in the answer. 

 

Sonny has left a few messages on Will's phone, asking if they can talk, but Will is ignoring him, too.

 

* * *

 

After three weeks of not returning Sonny's calls, Will has started to visit Sonny's coffee house again, usually with company. 

 

Whilst they're not back to where they were before, they've started talking again, and they're ... friendly. It still feels a little stilted between them, but they're both trying. 

 

Usually Will is there with Gabi, and that seems to throw Chad off –  he refuses point-blank to serve her whenever she comes in, and scowls at her the whole time she is there. Sonny still doesn't know what that is all about. Sonny tells him to stop driving away their customers. 

 

Recently, Will has started to come in to the coffee house with Neil. 

 

Brian doesn't call or text.

 

* * *

 

One day, Will comes into _Common Grounds_ alone. 

 

He says to Sonny, “I miss talking to you.”

 

Sonny says, “I miss talking to you, too.” Sonny is manning the coffee bar, and he leans over the counter, smiling, and says to Will, “So what's new in your life?” 

 

The answer becomes obvious when Neil comes through the door and sees Sonny leaning over the bar, casually flirting with Will. Neil not-so-casually puts his arm around Will's shoulders.

 

And that is how Sonny learns that Will has a new boyfriend.  

 

He's glad for him. Really. 

 

But knowing something is over, and seeing it actually happen, are two completely different things. 

 

* * *

 

When Brian shows up at the coffee house at closing time, Sonny is not surprised to see him; Brian has a way of always being there when Sonny is at his most vulnerable. Sonny knows it isn't fair to put that on Brian – more often than not, Brian is only there because Sonny goes to see him – but the feeling still persists. 

 

Sonny lets him in. 

 

Brian sits down at one end of Sonny's bar whilst Sonny gets behind it and makes them both coffee. Brian has an espresso.

 

It's the first time Brian has been at Sonny's place. Sonny thought the effect would be disconcerting, like seeing a centrefold shopping in a supermarket, but it isn't. Brian looks like he belongs there; a hip young university student sitting in a coffee bar, sipping a coffee. 

 

Their worlds were never really that far apart. 

 

“I've never seen the inside of this place before,” says Brian. “Can I have a tour?”

 

Sonny says, “There isn't much more to it. Just what you see, and a store room.”

 

“I love store rooms,” says Brian, leaning his chin on his palm.

 

Sonny shakes his head.

 

Brian makes himself comfortable on the coffee house couch, and after a while, Sonny joins him.

 

Sonny realises he doesn't really know that much about Brian. He knows Brian is a medical student. He knows that he is the Captain of his crew team. He knows that Brian drinks espressos and likes sex. 

 

“How are your studies going?” says Sonny. 

 

Brian says, “I'm finished for the year.”

 

“What are your plans for next year?” he asks. 

 

“I'm going to be interning at University Hospital. After that ...  one more year of indentured servitude as a resident at some hospital or other.”

 

“Do you know which one?” 

 

“It's too early to say,” says Brian. “Whichever one will have me, basically.”

 

Quiet falls between them. It's not uncomfortable at all. 

 

Brian asks him if he knows anything about connecting TV and video equipment. 

 

* * *

 

Sonny is surprised to discover that Brian's TV problem is a real thing (and not a pretext to get him to his apartment so they can have sex). 

 

There is a new large screen television sitting on the table where Brian's smaller box television used to sit, and open boxes with styrofoam and folded corrugated card packaging piled on the floor. A DVD player sits on the table. Brian's TV stand, with it's open bottom drawer, has cords spilling out of it. 

 

Sonny lets himself all the way into the apartment and closes the door. 

 

“Is it even plugged in?” says Sonny. 

 

Brian gives him a look. 

 

Sonny goes to the back of the screen and takes a look at the inputs. There is a riot of different coloured plugs zigzagged crazily across the back of the screen. 

 

“Who did your wiring?” says Sonny. “A kindergartner?”

 

Brian looks downcast.

 

Sonny sighs. “Do you have a HDMI cable at least?”

 

Brian says, “Take a look in that drawer.”

 

Whilst Sonny is looking through the drawer, Brian's music system switches on. Brian hands him a glass of wine. 

 

Sonny accepts the wine readily. Unlike Brian's taste in coffee, his taste in wines is _excellent_. 

 

Brian relaxes back on the couch with his own glass, as Sonny connects his DVD recorder. It takes him less than a minute. It's _so_ easy. 

 

 _Too_ easy. 

 

Brian's jazz mood music riffs in the background.

 

Brian says, “I have to admit I have an ulterior motive inviting you back here.”

 

_Wait for it-_

 

Brian pulls out a wrapped present from behind his back. “Merry Christmas.”

 

“ _Oh,_ ” says Sonny dumbfounded, accepting the present. “But I haven't got you anything.”

 

Brian waves that away. “Don't worry, it's not a big deal. Open it.”

 

Sonny sits next to him on the couch, putting his glass of wine on the side table and unwrapping the present. It's a DVD. 

 

“I really wanted to see this movie when it came out,” says Sonny. “But something always got in the way.”

 

“We could watch it together,” Brian says. “I have popcorn.”

 

Brian flicks off the jazz music with his remote control and switches on the DVD. Whilst the credits are playing, Brian makes the popcorn. Sonny watches him at work in his kitchen. He likes seeing this side of Brian.

 

Sonny takes off his shoes and hangs his jacket on a hook. As he reclines back on the couch he can feel his feet sink into the plush pile under his feet. The smell of the popcorn makes his mouth water.

 

At this moment Sonny is aware of two things. One: he really doesn't want to leave. And two: nobody with a music system as complicated as Brian's would ever have trouble plugging a HDMI cable into the back of a DVD player. 

 

Brian sits next to him on the couch and hands Sonny the bowl of popcorn. 

 

Sonny asks, “Can I stay the night?”

 

“I assumed you already were,” says Brian, scooping up a handful of popcorn and eating it. 

 

* * *

 

Brian has added a new element to their sexual relationship – talking – and Sonny is not quite sure how he feels about it.

 

They are still tangled with each other, after having sex an hour ago. Brian has an arm behind Sonny's neck and their feet are crossed. Brian leans against Sonny, and Sonny wraps his arms around Brian's neck, dragging him on top of him for a long, lusty kiss; all lips and teeth and tongue, until they break apart for air. 

 

Brian rolls them so they're pressed together thigh to thigh. Brian is staring into Sonny's eyes, and stroking Sonny's back when he asks, “Why did you to run out last time without saying goodbye?”

 

Sonny is slow to respond and Brian says, “You didn't answer my texts for a week.” 

 

Sonny says, “I _know_.” But because that answer is woefully inadequate, he adds, “I didn't know what to say … I didn't mean to offend you.”

 

Brian blows out a breath. “You didn't _offend_ me, Sonny. _”_ He wraps his hand around Sonny's jawline, gently running his thumb along Sonny's lower lip. “But after you left, I didn't know whether I was ever going to see you again.” 

 

“Brian,” says Sonny. “I would _tell_ you.”

 

“ _Good_ ,” says Brian, kissing Sonny forcefully. 

 

When they break apart from the kiss, Brian asks, “What are you doing next Friday?”

 

“I'm not sure,” says Sonny. 

 

“Wrong answer. Pencil me in.”

 

Brian rolls Sonny on his back and straddles his thighs, staring at him appreciatively. “God Sonny, I think I could fuck you all night.”

 

“Thanks?” says Sonny. 

 

Brian smirks in amusement. 

 

He reaches over to the dresser for condoms and supplies, and it seems that for the moment, their very first heart to heart is over. 

 

* * *

 

 

Sonny and Brian are taking a shower together, kissing and groping each other under the strong jets of water in Brian's shower. 

 

Brian crowds Sonny against the clear wet glass of the cubicle, lifting his weight until Sonny's legs are wrapped around Brian's waist and they are bucking against each other. Sonny's buttocks squeak against the still cool glass shower wall as Brian grinds against him, sandwiching Sonny between his body and the glass wall to keep Sonny in place. Sonny starts to slip a bit, and Brian pushes up against him, sliding him back up the wall with effort.  

 

It's both impossible and ridiculous that Brian should be able to do this - Brian is not that much taller or heavier than Sonny is – and soon the physics win out. 

 

Sonny hears Brian say, “Fuck!” as he feels himself sliding. Brian tries to grab onto him but he can't stop Sonny's downward squealing slide against the glass, until Sonny finds himself on his knees on the shower tile. 

 

He hears Brian's frustrated, “Fuck, Fuck, fuck!” and his palm slap against the shower wall. 

 

Secretly, Sonny likes it when Brian's smooth seductions sometimes fail. It makes Brian seem more real, and less like the sexually confident player that he sometimes portrays himself to be.

 

Sonny tries not to let Brian see that he is shaking with laughter.

 

  _(But he just doesn't think he can stop.)_

 

* * *

 

Sonny has a strange sad talk with Will.

 

It seems that Will's relationship with Neil isn't working out any better than their own did. 

 

When he asks Will if he wants to talk about it, he isn't sure that he really wants to hear the details. 

 

Will doesn't think that that's such a good idea, either. 

 

Sonny suggests that Will could get in touch with a someone who specialises in LGBT counselling. 

 

Will gives him a look as if his experience has already moved him _so much_ _past_ needing that kind of help.

 

Sonny says, “I think it would be good for you.”

 

He doesn't think Will is going to take his advice. 

 

* * *

 

When Brian asks Sonny what's wrong, Sonny shakes his head and tries to distract him by slipping his hand down Brian's pants, but Brian gently removes the hand and says, “You seem a little upset.”

 

Sonny says, “I'm fine.”

 

But Brian just snorts and says, “You can talk to me, you know. If you have a problem, or if you just want someone to talk to.”

 

“Thanks,” says Sonny, and is silent. Sonny is nowhere close to wanting Brian to see inside his head.

 

That doesn't stop Brian from cupping his hands around Sonny's jaw, and trying to read his face. He kisses Sonny softly on the lips. Sonny wraps his arms around Brian's neck and kisses him back.

 

Brian says, “I have an idea. Hold that thought,” detaching himself from Sonny and going to the other room. He comes back with the camping mattress. 

 

“We're going camping,” Brian says. 

 

Brian's idea of camping is laying outside on the balcony on a camping mattress, wrapped together in a single sleeping bag, made of two bags zipped together into one larger bag.

 

Sonny says dubiously, “It's a little bit cool outside.”

 

Brian is more optimistic.

 

“Don't worry, I'll keep you warm,” he says, whilst Sonny thinks that this has the potential to be another _sex fail_ on an epic scale.

 

“Get in, test it out,” Brian says. 

 

Sonny slips into the sleeping bag. It is night outside, and Brian turns off the lights in the apartment. Sonny can't see anything, but he can feel Brian climbing in beside him in the dark. He's pretty sure that Brian is naked. They kiss for a while. 

 

“Warmer?” says Brian. 

 

Sonny murmurs agreement and Brian starts unbuttoning Sonny's clothes under the sleeping bag. He strips off Sonny's shirt and undershirt first. When he gets to Sonny's pants, he ducks under the blanket to manoeuvre them down his legs and off. There is a moment when Sonny is startled by Brian rubbing up against his cock on the way up, then Brian is sliding up against Sonny's body and his head and arm pop up out of the sleeping bag. He gives Sonny's pants a victory twirl, before he flings them across the balcony. 

 

“ _Brian_ ,” says Sonny.

 

Brian snuggles up against Sonny, pulling him into his arms. 

 

“Anything you want,” he whispers. He captures Sonny's lips with his own and they lie there, trading soft kisses under the stars. Surprisingly, it's really warm in the sleeping bag. 

 

Sonny doesn't know why Brian is so interested in this; taking him apart with sex and then piecing him back together with soft touches, long drawn out kisses and comforting embraces in the dark. It's times like these that Sonny is aware of Brian's gentle side and it makes him nervous in a way that Brian's smooth charm and blatantly outrageous come-ons don't. Sonny thinks that eventually Brian will get tired of sex with him and want to stop this.

 

He hasn't so far.

 

In the meantime, when Brian holds him during the night, and tells him how special he is, Sonny has to keep reminding himself that it is sex that Brian loves, not Sonny.

 

* * *

 

By Valentine's Day, Will and Neil are back on again. 

 

They've been coming into Common Grounds on a regular basis, and even Sonny has become used to seeing them there together. Neil seems to be warming up to Sonny again, and they share some pleasant banter about their favourite sports teams. They start talking about crew, and Neil thinks that with some of the more competitive teams losing their star players due to graduation, his team might stand a really good chance of placing in some of the intercollegiate championships this year. 

 

Sonny is behind the bar, making cappuccinos for Will and Neil when business at the café is interrupted by someone walking into the coffee house dressed in a gorilla suit, carrying a bunch of balloons. 

 

“Some poor sucker's in for it,” says Chad, at the other end of the bar. Sonny nods.

 

The gorilla winds his way through the café crowd at Common Grounds. When he finally stops at the bar where Sonny is working, Sonny has a strange sinking sensation that the gorilla has come for him. But - 

 

He looks over at Chad, and he is already snickering. 

 

The gorilla gram starts singing to Sonny. He ends his song with his furry knee on the floor and hands a balloon with an envelope attached to it, to Sonny. The nearby patrons clap politely at the end of the song. 

 

Sonny offers the gorilla gram a coffee on the house, but the gorilla silently shakes his head, and walks out, his _Gorilla Gram mystique_ intact.

 

Sonny opens the Valentine's message. 

 

“Is that from Brian?” Neil asks. 

 

Sonny, reading the note, nods absently. Brian has planned a Valentine's date _._

 

Will is staring at Sonny. 

 

He says, “You're dating _Brian?_ ”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note, I don't know anything about medical studies or curriculums, or intercollegiate crew sports. Just skim over those parts if they don't make sense.
> 
> ** I have interpreted Brian's "whichever hospital will have me comment" to mean that he has actually applied to the best hospitals in the country, and he will take an internship at the best one that accepts him (not that he doesn't care). He is just too cool to actually say that.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny goes out on his Valentine's Day date with Brian. Sonny works out his feelings for Will and Brian, sort of. Warnings for smut.

When the Gorilla Gram comes to Sonny's coffee house bearing Brian's message, Will says, astounded, "You're dating  _Brian_?"

 

At first Sonny thinks that Will is upset that Sonny is dating. Then Sonny realises that the source of Will's consternation is the  _person_ Sonny is dating. 

 

 _Brian_.

 

He should have guessed they might have met. Sonny has been to Brian's apartment often enough to see the photograph of his crew team standing shoulder to shoulder in their tight singlets and very short shorts. (Neil is the one standing on the extreme right.) And Sonny knows that Neil and Will are dating.

 

But it was as if he had this mental wall between them; on one side of the wall was Brian - on the other side was Will. 

 

Sonny was used to the separation. 

 

A terrible thought crosses his mind.

 

"How do you know Brian? Did you-"  _Have sex with him -_ are the words his mind supplies, but Sonny can't make himself say them aloud.

 

Will doesn't immediately answer and Sonny face falls.

 

Neil says, "For God Sake, Will, tell him you never slept with Brian!"

 

" _What?_ " says Will. "No! No way! Why would you think that?"

 

The tense knot at the pit of Sonny's stomach unfurls.

 

"Is Brian  _the guy_? The one you-" Will stops himself. He looks like he already knows the answer. "Of course he is," he says bitterly.

 

Will gets up to leave.

 

Neil looks at Sonny apologetically and follows him out.

 

* * *

 

Brian stops by Sonny's coffee house.

 

Usually Sonny would think that it was Brian's uncanny sense of timing at work, but now he guesses that Brian has already spoken with Neil, or worse, Will. 

 

If he's expecting Brian to be apologetic, he should have considered that this is  _Brian_. Since Sonny never mentioned Will to  _him_ , Brian apparently didn't see the need to bring up Will with Sonny. Sonny has no reasonable comeback to that. 

 

Brian asks whether Will has tried to get him back, yet. 

 

"That won't happen," says Sonny. _Will hates me._

 

Sonny asks how well Brian knows Will _._

 

Brian tells him that he only met up with Will a few times, mostly in Neil's company. Twice at  _The Spot_. Once as Will's  _murder alibi_ , with Neil, when he was suspected of murdering Stefano Dimera (who wasn't so dead after all).

 

_As early as that._

 

Then he adds, "I never slept with Will. Just in case you were wondering."

 

He takes a hold of Sonny's hand, and stares into his eyes. Sonny looks at their linked hands and up at Brian, again.

 

The last time someone held his hand like this to talk, they broke up with him. Now that Sonny knows that Brian has always known about Will, he wonders whether Brian is tired of all of the _Will drama._  Maybe he's looking for a way out. 

 

"Just in case you were wondering," says Brian. "I haven't been with anyone but you for a very long time."

 

His admission freaks out Sonny a little.

 

Brian releases Sonny's hand. He confirms that he will be back later, to pick up Sonny for their date.

 

The subject appears to be closed. 

 

Sonny notices that Brian doesn't kiss him goodbye.

 

* * *

 

It's late afternoon and Sonny is doing inventory in the back storeroom of the coffee house.

 

He is surprised by Will, who suddenly appears in front of him, and crushes him up against the wall. There is a hurried desperation in the way Will crowds into Sonny, pressing against him, chest to chest. He grips Sonny's head and kisses him passionately, all tongue and teeth and pure need. 

 

They are both panting when they break off the kiss.

 

Sonny pulls away first, and when Will tries to follow, he says, "No, Will."

 

Will is breathing hard. 

 

"It should have been us. We could still be together."

 

Sonny shakes his head.

 

"I know you wanted this, too," Will says. "I could  _feel_  it."

 

Sonny doesn't deny it. 

 

"It would be just sex, Will, and it's never been just sex between us."*

 

Will backs down and steps away from Sonny.  

 

"But, you're still seeing  _Brian_?" he says. "Sonny, you can't _trust_ him. Ask Neil. None of his boyfriends ever  _last_."

 

"I don't want to talk about Brian," Sonny says.

 

"I know that you think I'm not ready for a relationship," says Will, "but I am. I'm ready."

 

"I'm not," Sonny says. As soon as he says it, he recognises it for the truth.

 

Sonny still believes in love. He thought he'd found it with Will, but he'd been wrong. He convinced himself that their friendship would make their relationship stronger, based on their shared interests and beliefs. 

 

But the relationship he formed with Will proved to be just as flawed and fragile as all his past relationships. 

 

"Will," he says, before Will walks away. "I may have let you keep thinking that the only reason we broke up was because you weren't ready, but I think the truth is that I wasn't ready, either ... I'm still not."

 

* * *

 

Sonny leaves the store room first.

 

He is startled to see that Brian is already there to pick him up for their date.

 

"Hello," says Brian smiling. 

 

Will comes out of the store room a moment later.

 

"Hello,  _Will_ ," says Brian. He is no longer smiling.

 

Will shuffles awkwardly around Brian to get past him, saying " _hello_ " in return. ( _Sonny thinks that he looks as guilty as hell._ )

 

"Did you forget about our date?" Brian asks Sonny. 

 

"No," says Sonny.

 

Brian approaches him and cradles his face in his hands, tilting his chin and forcing him to meet his gaze. 

 

Sonny is aware of Will, frozen in place, watching from less than four feet away.

 

Sonny thinks he knows what is going to happen next and he is already squirming inside at the thought of it - of Brian kissing him just for Will's benefit, to put Will in his place. He feels helpless to stop it, without giving both Brian and Will the wrong idea.

 

Brian surprises him. He looks strokes Sonny's cheek gently with his thumb and he says, "Are you ready to go?"

 

"I need to close up," says Sonny.

 

"I'll do it," Chad interrupts. "You guys go enjoy yourselves." 

 

As Sonny walks behind the counter, Will tries to catch his eye, but Sonny refuses to look at him. 

 

Brian is standing nearby talking casually with Chad as Sonny collects his jacket and keys.

 

* * *

 

"The last time I was here, I was having lunch with my parents," Sonny says as they step inside  _Chez Rouge_. 

 

The restaurant is elegant. The tables are set with with red napkins, red roses in vases, and lit candles for Valentine's Day. (Nothing like the cheap and cheerful cut out paper hearts that Sonny has strung around his coffee shop).

 

He and Brian are put into an intimate corner table and Sonny looks over the candles at Brian, who is smiling at him. 

 

Sonny leans forward on his elbows.

 

"You know, this feels a lot like a _date_ ," he says.

 

"Really?" says Brian, leaning forward. "What gave it away?" 

 

"I think my very first clue was a six foot gorilla," says Sonny. 

 

He stops talking as he sees a very familiar couple enter the restaurant.  _"Oh no."_

 

"What is it?" Brian turns around and sees nothing but two new patrons being seated at a table.

 

"My parents just came in," says Sonny.

 

"You don't get along?"

 

"My parents are amazing, but my mother thinks she has to know everything that's going on in her children's lives. There's no way you're going to get out of here without meeting her."

 

"Should we go over and say hello?"

 

 _"Too late."_  Sonny leaves his seat to greet his parents and give his mother a kiss on the cheek as Brian rises politely from his chair.

 

Adrienne looks at Brian with interest.

 

Brian gives her a wide smile. 

 

She blinks.

 

"Sonny," she says. "Aren't you going to introduce us to your friend?"**

 

* * *

 

Brian invites Sonny's parents to join them for a drink, so of course he instantly becomes Adrienne's favourite. 

 

Justin says, "Don't let us intrude on your date."  

 

Sonny gives him a grateful look. 

 

Adrienne says, " _Heavens_ , Justin, It's only for _one drink."_

 

Sheseats herself at the chair that Brian pulls out for her. 

 

Justin shrugs at Sonny and pulls up his own chair.

 

Adrienne seems smitten with Brian and his hundred-watt smile. After interrogating him about his studies and his future, ( _and learning more about Brian in ten minutes than Sonny has found out since they've met_ ), his mom is finally ready to go back to her own table. 

 

"Oh," says Adrienne, pointing, " _Look._ There's Maggie and your Uncle Victor."

 

Sonny suddenly needs to go to the wash room.

 

* * *

 

He is joined by Brian a few minutes later.

 

He pulls Sonny into a bathroom cubicle and has him up against the door in a second, dragging him into a desperate kiss. Sonny's arms reach around Brian and attack the back of his shirt, pulling it out of his trousers, gliding his palms up Brian's smooth back. Brian's fingers get busy with the fastening of Sonny's belt, maneuvering it open, and releasing the snap button of his jeans. 

 

Brian says, "I've been dying to do this all night." 

 

Sonny breathes against his neck and stares at him with his large dark eyes. 

 

When Brian looks into his eyes, he stops what he's doing for a moment to heatedly kiss Sonny again.

 

The door to the men's bathroom creaks open and someone comes in. Brian puts a warning finger over Sonny's lips.

 

 _"Ahem,"_  says a man's voice. It's Justin. "I just wanted to give you boys a heads-up that Sami Brady is in the restaurant. She's just gotten into a screaming match with your mother, Sonny."

 

"How's Mom doing?" Sonny asks, pulling himself away from Brian and buttoning himself up again, not looking at Brian.

 

"Not that great, but Uncle Victor is starting to get up a head of steam. He'll be good for a while."

 

Sonny exits the cubicle. "Is Will there, too?"

 

"No, it's just Sami and EJ. I talked with Uncle Vic and we didn't see any reason to let them ruin your night. He's asked his driver to wait for you at the back of the restaurant. Tell him where you want to go and he'll take you both there first, then come back for Maggie and Uncle Victor."

 

Brian exits the cubicle. Justin isn't the least bit surprised to see him.

 

The door opens and Adrienne enters the men's bathroom.

 

"That woman," she vents. "You wouldn't believe the crack she's talking about Sonny now. I'm not a violent person, but I wanted to slap that lying cow into the back of next week." She waves her hand, flicking it back and forth violently in demonstration.

 

"Easy there, Tiger," says Justin, grabbing her fighting hand before it hits him in the eye.

 

"Maggie said there was a getaway planned," Adrienne says. "What are we waiting for?"

 

She looks at her surroundings. "I always wondered what the men's washroom looked like," she says. 

 

* * *

 

A few moments later they all pile into the back of Victor Kiriakis's luxurious black limousine.

 

Adrienne says, "The car's not moving. Why aren't we moving?"

 

Justin raps on the glass.

 

The door opens suddenly and Maggie and Victor get in.

 

"I thought you were keeping Sami and EJ busy!" Adrienne accuses.

 

Victor says, "I got tired of that shrew screaming in my ear. Besides, why should I deal with bottom-feeders like Sami and EJ personally, when I've got people who can do it for me. That's what they're paid for."

 

"EJ is not going to like that you set your-" Justin flicks a covert glance over at Brian, " _people_  on him."

 

"You think that I'm afraid of that second-rate DiMera? EJ can bite me," says Victor.

 

"Don't you think we'd better get going?" says Maggie. "Wherever it is that we're going?"

 

They all look at Sonny. 

 

"You're not coming along on my date," he says.

 

"Sonny,  _honey_ ," says Adrienne, placatingly. "We have to give the driver  _some_  destination."

 

Sonny reluctantly sees the logic of it.

 

"It was a surprise," he says. "So I don't know where we were going."

 

Everybody's eyes turn to Brian.

 

"Salem Inn," says Brian.

 

"Really?" says Adrienne, underwhelmed. "The Salem Inn?"

 

"The Honeymoon Suite."

 

She perks up again. "Ooh."

 

Sonny smacks his head against the car window.

 

* * *

 

The suite is ... nice. 

 

It's on the penthouse floor and Sonny immediately understands why it's the Honeymoon suite. A large four poster bed dominates the bedroom, and there is a Jacuzzi on the private balcony (which the concierge proudly shows off).

 

Sonny sees Brian take a bill out of his wallet to tip him. The bellboy takes a little  _too_   _long_  to slide it out of Brian's palm, studying Brian covertly from beneath his long lashes.

 

It ticks Sonny off.

 

Brian notices Sonny's glare at the bellboy's departing figure, and wraps himself around Sonny's back, leaning his chin on Sonny's shoulder.

 

He says, "Sonny, you have to know I'd much rather play naughty hotel guest with you any day."

 

He turns Sonny around and places a feather-light kiss on his cheek.

 

"Or whatever else you want," Brian says.

 

* * *

 

Having most of Sonny's family take over the hotel floor beneath their suite has left Sonny a little on edge, so he readily agrees to Brian's suggestion to open the champagne bottle before they eat, and drink a toast on their private balcony. 

 

Less than an hour later, he and Brian are lounging in the bubbling Jacuzzi. Sonny is having his third glass of champagne. Or possibly his fourth, he's not quite sure.

 

He's feeling pleasantly relaxed and fizzing inside from the sparkling wine, Brian's kisses, and the bubbling jets of warm water that are making his skin tingle. 

 

When Brian tries to kiss his neck he bursts into giggles and slips into the water, going under. 

 

Brian drags him up quickly, soaking wet, to straddle his lap. Brian's arms draw him close.

 

Sonny slowly lowers his head to kiss Brian on the mouth. Brian tastes like champagne. They stay like that for a while, lips pressed together, tongues duelling, with Brian's hands stroking Sonny's back.

 

Sonny starts to feel light-headed, so Brian helps him out of the hot tub, laying him on the bed and hand-feeding him small bites of sliced fruit from the room service tray. 

 

Brian is still naked. 

 

Sonny is so turned on right now.

 

In a second Sonny is climbing Brian, splaying his hands over Brian's chest and dragging his fingers through the fine sprinkling of dark hair. He presses gentle kisses against Brian's collarbone, his neck, and his chest, enjoying the play of velvet skin and muscular sinew. His hands wander down Brian's sides, touching and stroking his skin. His lips follow the disappearing trail of dark hairs leading past Brian's abdomen and down; licking and sucking small wet kisses along it. 

 

Following the breadcrumbs.

 

Like any dark fairytale, Sonny finds the lonely tower in the middle of the dark forest, and starts to climb towards the top, flicking his tongue along the base and peppering kisses up the shaft. He feels Brian's body start bucking underneath him and he holds Brian's pelvis down with both hands. He swirls around the tip with his tongue, then he travels back down to bottom to start his trip back up the other side.

 

Suddenly Brian has enough of laying back passively, and Sonny finds himself flat on his back, staring at the ceiling. 

 

There is no princess in the tower, of course, and Sonny realises that he may have woken up the sleeping dragon instead.

 

* * *

 

The morning sunlight wakes Sonny. 

 

His head is still feeling a little muzzy from the night before. He turns over to stare at Brian. 

 

The sheet has dipped off Brian's body, and Sonny can see the results of last night's handiwork in the clear light of day: the love bites against Brian's collarbone, the red grooves on his forearms, and what looks like a perfectly formed set of teeth marks on Brian's pale pristine ass-cheek.

 

Sonny instinctively reaches out to touch, but pulls his hand back at the last moment.

 

He remembers last night's grabby hands; touching, petting and stroking sensual touches up Brian's body. He remembers Brian writhing beneath him, chanting a litany of "fuck, fuck, _oh fuck_ ". When Brian tries to flip himself over before Sonny is ready, Sonny marks his pale butt-cheek with a savage red love bite.  _That_ makes Brian go perfectly still.

 

For a second.

 

Sonny remembers the resultant _wild monkey_   _sex_  on the four-poster bed vividly: the both of them grabbing and pulling at each other in a frenzy of lust. Sonny biting and sucking Brian's collarbone, reaching around Brian's body to grab at his ass and pull him closer and Brian flipping him over like a rag doll, filling him up and hollowing him out. That's when Sonny clutches at Brian's arms, digging in his nails, shouting out Brian's name as they buck and grind atop the well-sprung mattress. 

 

Sonny tries to ease himself out of bed without waking Brian. 

 

It doesn't work out that way.

 

Before he has time to leave the bed, Brian has his arms around him and is pressed against his back.

 

"Good morning" says Brian, kissing his neck. Sonny relaxes back against him, suddenly shy.

 

Brian eases him back onto the bed and stares into his eyes.

 

Sonny stares back.

 

They don't speak a word. 

 

* * *

 

Sonny is wakened for the second time that morning by Brian moving around in the hotel room. He has just had a shower and is freshly wet.

 

Sonny feels the mattress depress as Brian sits down on it, next to Sonny.

 

Sonny sees the scratch marks on Brian arms and touches them lightly with his fingertips. "I'm sorry about those. I didn't realise I was hurting you."

 

"Oh,  _Sonny_ ," says Brian. 

 

He reaches under Sonny's sheet, and strokes his hand up Sonny's thigh, spreading his legs apart. 

 

Sonny's breath hitches with the drag of Brian's fingertips.

 

" _Brian_ -" Sonny says.

 

"Do you like that, Sonny?" says Brian. "Do you want me to stop?"

 

Sonny feels like he's about to fly apart, but something in him is fighting it, trying to keep hold of his last fragments of control.

 

Brian says, "Don't fight it, _baby_ , I'll catch you."

 

Sonny lets go.

 

* * *

 

Brian holds him after sex. He is so tender sometimes, it makes Sonny wonder whether it's  _just_  the sex that makes him this way.

 

Sonny says, "If this is supposed to be a no-strings, purely sexual relationship, then I don't think either one of us is doing it right."

 

Brian laughs under his breath and snuggles closer to Sonny. 

 

"We make the rules." He plants a kiss on Sonny's neck. "I can care about you if I want."

 

Some unrealised anxiety in Sonny eases.

 

He whispers back, "I care about you, too."

 

They leave the hotel unseen, thanks to Brian's resourceful bellhop.

 

* * *

 

One thing that changes in their relationship is that Brian starts spending nights at Sonny's apartment.

 

Tonight, Brian is lying boneless on Sonny's sofa. He is beautiful; his arms are extra brown where his skin has been exposed to the sun, and his back is lightly tanned, fading to pale peachy buttocks. 

 

Sonny slides his body along Brian's bare back and reaches his hands under Brian to cup Brian's dangling cock.

 

Sonny rests the side of his face next to Brian's back, listening to Brian's breathing. Brian's back arches, and Sonny moves with it, feeling the stretch of Brian's muscles against his own bare skin. Sonny is rubbing up against Brian like a cat, his own erection pressed up against Brian's backside, as Brian's cock grows warmer and harder beneath his fingertips. 

 

“Sonny-” Brian groans.

 

Sonny peels himself off Brian's back. He can feel Brian getting restless under him, trying to turn over. Sonny runs his hands over Brian's pale perfect ass. 

 

Brian twists his upper torso to look back at him. 

 

“You seemed so innocent when I first met you,” Brian says. 

 

Sonny laughs.

 

He squirts some lube into his palm and warms it in his fingers.

 

* * *

 

For the last few visits to Brian's apartment, Sonny has started watching a Korean dating show late at night, whilst eating muesli on Brian's sofa. 

 

Tonight, Brian has wandered out of the bedroom looking for him. Now he's lying next to him, sneaking spoonfuls of Sonny's cereal while Sonny explains the program to him. 

 

After a while, Brian takes the cereal bowl out of Sonny's hands and puts it on the side table.

 

Sonny says, "Brian," and gives him a stern look. 

 

Brian just smiles back at him.

 

Sonny quickly grabs the remote control off the side table and presses record at the TV, before Brian carries him away to the bedroom.

 

From experience, Sonny knows this could take a while.

 

* * *

 

Brian can be arrogant, brash, obvious. Sonny thinks that should put him off, but he doesn't mind it so much. He thinks Brian is aware of it too and shrugs it off with a smile. _Sure I'm these things_ , Brian's smile says,  _but you can't really care can you? You're still here._

 

Sonny thinks that love can be steady, kind and honest. He thinks it can be about friendship, support, and shared interests.

 

What he has with Brian is different.

 

It's passionate and it's sexual, and it feeds off a desire that's so all-consuming it doesn't leave much room for anything else.

 

Sonny doesn't know whether this thing he has will Brian will last. If he and Brian will end up helping each other or hurting each other in the end. He still isn't sure what Brian ultimately wants from their affair. He wonders whether Brian would still find him desirable months from now, or a year from now, when the novelty has worn off.

 

He isn't sure if Brian is  _The One_.  

 

But right now, he doesn't  _care_.

 

For the first time, Sonny has stopped thinking ten steps ahead.

 

He's simply happy.

 

And that's all right. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Some dialogue from the show (or paraphrased lines from the show).  
> ** Paraphrased dialogue from the show. It's from the episode when Adrienne first meets Brian.


End file.
